So what's on deck?

What's on deck???

What's up with that?

Really dude?

el oh el Smiley face

Was that it?

**** They will be in no particular order, but o well... i mean stuff happens right? lol

I'm back...

Alas I am back... and i have something to say!!! something real interesting to say. This summer I was really trippin'... maybe even got caught slipping but I have more than one story to tell this year!!! If you have been missing my tales of Tom foolery and utter craziness... never fear.Baby... I'm back!

Loving you is like a battle...

And we both end up with scars...


Vixen told me that Thing 1 and I should just get it in and get it over with. Trust me, I have thought about it... O have I thought about it, but the truth of the matter sometimes after sex I feel some type of way. I don't want a repeat situation of Number 1. I knew better than to even go down that road...

The last couple of days have been really difficult for me... I feel like a kid with ADHD, my attention is not fixed on any one thing. I want to focus on things, but there is so much stuff going on that I can't just focus on one thing at a time. So here is the thing, Number 2 is going to get his own little story so I will reserve that for later. I don’t really know what the situation with that is, and I am not ready to deal with it right now, as immature as that sounds I am not ready.

Thing 1 is well, I want him in my life, but at the same time, I don’t. He is the type of guy you are intrigued by and want to know more about. At the same time he puts you at arm’s length, and doesn’t want you to get too close. I don’t know how to deal with him, so I just don’t. I like/liked him as much as I hate to admit it, it’s true. I sometimes revert to my inner female and read too deeply into situations. True enough we had an insane evening a few weeks back, but that is where it ends. That’s all that is ever going to be, because I look at his statuses on facebook ( lol… I’m not stalking, they pop up in the mini-feed) and he is always referring to “Her”… Who the Eff is she? Because He says things that can not possibly be in reference to me(or are they?), so I’m thinking in my mind “ He a hoe ass nigga”… cuz if this chick is oh so important, why are you getting with me? And not on some light weight stuff, I’m talking about crazy sexual energy. More so, than I have ever experienced in my 21 years…I mean last weekend we were supposed to get together, but… I still have that thing about being a jump off, and I’m not trying to become a smut, and I kinda was all over Louisiana earlier in the evening. ( Story later)
So I wanted to be in a relationship, and now I don’t know what I want. I don’t want to be caught up, and I don’t want to be out of the loop.

I wish things were a little less complex, than what they currently are!

Give them what they want

Many people have asked me why I haven't talked about my encounters with Number 2. Well here it is...Well here is part one. anyway....

I went out of town a few months ago, and had a blast at a popular night spot with my girls and some new friends.We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves,I guess you could say that this was the type of event where everyone is blaming things on the alcohol. Not gonna lie we were on that ciroc obama,Tipsy but not gone. *Earlier there were chicks in line throwing up from sipping a lil somethin too much.* Anyways, Number two had been wanting the business for months and I hadn't had sex in like a year, so I was like... Whatever why not? A few text messages were exchanged. He was upset with me, because when he had seen me earlier in the hotel lobby. I didn't give him a hug. So I replied " All you want is a hug?" He knows me, and knew that at times i bluff. He said something to the effect of " I want the hug, because you aren't going to do anymore." Maybe I was turned on, by the fact he told me I wasn't going to do something. It was almost as if it was a challenge. so I replied " Say what you want, you may just get it." This was all around 12... FAST FORWARD We didn't end up meeting up in his room until like 4:30 or 5... I was plenty pissed by this time because hella groupies had followed us there. Ended up getting it in the Bathroom. Which I have a thing for places so it was no biggie for me. I like the risk of being caught, it heightens the senses. Anywho.We had to be discreet because he told me he had a boo, and I have a plethora of young men on the roster, but none of them are getting the business. So It looked bad on both parts, he however lied. She is not just boo, she is girlfriend. And if you have read the blog you know I despise getting in the middle of people's relationships.

Did i mention I lost my voice and had to whisper? Lol...he was like " are you sure you want to do this?"... Pause- Does a crackhead want crack?-resume.
I was yeah. So it began.

Did I mention I hadn't had sex in like a year, and Number one was not in the magnum club? Anyways, number two is and anyone who has gotten it in in the bathroom before know what you are dealing with. I still had my 6 inch heels( that were ready to come off) He sat on toilet and I got on... I like being in control for some reason. Excuse the rest- It hurt like hell, I felt like a brand new virgin. After i got used to it, I was good. Now,we catch a rhythem but he wants to hit it from the back, so we do that for awhile. The guy likes just switching it up, I had no problem with that... So I was like okay cool... then he was like let's 69...

PAUSE
( I had never given head before, I had recieved)

I was like ehhhh... but What the hell? Why not right? So we getting it, and he decided that he just wanted to give me head...so I let him, and I came. So it was all good. I got mine, so the ordeal was sealed. But then he's like " Can I taste you again?... ( Head twice in one night?Sure. Let me reinterate I can't make this shit up) Anyway, after that we pretty much parted ways, and forgive me if I was not as detailed with this as I was with Thing 1... I just can't remember it all in detail. But Part 2 is more recent.A lil over a month ago. That was an adventure lls.

Louisiana!!!!

I love southern boys!!! Yes, I can do the North, but the south is where it is at. Now most of y'all will want that ATL boy, yeah they fly and swag is on point, but when it comes down to it..... I love boys from Louisiana!!!They are the effin' best. Texas is cool too, but Louisiana... It's something about how laid back they are, but fly at teh same time. A Louisiana boy can say " Shawty, What's your name?" and you aren't even offended, you just laugh and say " My name is ___________"! *giggle *giggle *smirk *smirk. Anyway, so there is this guy who I so happened to have met, he's a Pisces just like myself, so I'm thinkin' this could be an interesting encounter.If this encounter ever goes down. I'm going to see him tomorrow, and everything from here on out is about to be how everything is for me... straight up. Wild!!!!

Playing me, means you are playing yourself.

So, Thing 1 played me y'all. He was really putting on the show! You know how someone acts when it's just you and them?Yeah, it's a different story than when you are in public. See I don't play that game!!! Don't do that behind closed doors bull shit! I want to say that yes, I did care and was starting to like him, but he has thoroughly pissed me off. He don't have to worry about me,as Trina(love her) said it best. " You tryna play the diamond mami, foolish like ashanti". Naw, I was halfway simpin', almost at the cusp of letting myself chase a nigga. But Cheers let's make a toast for me having Vixen to tell me, " NO, Don't do it, reconsider read some lita -ture on the subject."- Fuck it... LOL. Everyone said he would do this, and I really wanted to let a dude have a fair chance this time. I guess My Big Bro was right and I really do attract the wrong types... Now most chicks would want to go sit and eat ice cream and watch lifetime all damn day. Me? Well I'm gonna do what any chick who isn't sad, salty, or mad would do... I'm gonna live my life. One monkey doesn't stop the show, and won't start running it anytime soon.I was gonna stop dogging dudes out, I was gonna be a sweetheart, and let things be like they were supposed to be, but you know what that seems too much like right.lol...So... Thing 1 is exxxxxxeeeeddd out.

HollabackGirl

Again I went out of town this past weekend, I ate more than i needed to and enjoyed life for awhile, before i got into the thick of finals and other stressful events.
Anyway, I hadn't talked to thing 1 in a few days(besides a status I had posted on my facebook) Anyway I had gotten a little bored so i decided to text him... A few minutes go by and I recieve a text back.

Thing 1: Don't wanna talk right now.

I proceeded to show my cousins because I was thoroughly offended, I tend to take things personal. They were like " Whoa, where did that come from" and as we are discussing the situation, minus some small details, you know like the fact we have crazy sexual chemistry. Anywho in the midst of this he sends another text.

Thing 1: Nothing against you.

So this makes me feel better, I just replied " Gotcha, it's cool." No need to get all into the dude's business or do the whole pity thing. I don't do that A. Because each guy is different, and B. A lot of people don't like you to feel bad for them. So I did what one of my teachers told me. K.I.S.S Keep It Simple Sweetheart. I basically said I understand and I took no offense without being wordy with it.I didn't say " Hope you ok." Or any other corny statement, because I don't think we are at that level where we really care about each other's well being. I think he knows that even though I act a particular way, I really am sensitive. I just appreciated the thought, and that's progress. I am still doing what I do,I still have a few guys on deck. There is this guy Lousiana, that I have to talk about next!

Until then...

Okay, well maybe a little bit.

I realized that while i enjoy sex, it probably hasn't been the best it could be. I haven't been with too many guys, 2( Well actual penetration, the number would be much higher if i counted head and the vaious other things i got out of ordeals). I don't know how I feel about upping that number without the prescence of a relationship this time around. I found myself having this conversation with Thing1 the other night(yes, i did take the blog down for awhile,but it is back up!)

I was initially really annoyed that this guy that seemed pretty interested was stunting hard on me. Usually, well as has been the case of late, I attract a lot of male attention. I am at times really unsure of myself and how i feel about a particular situations.I can be very unapproachable. I am kinda in this phase where I don't want a jumpoff/bussit nor do i want to be one.

I told Thing 1 this the other night during a conversation, but He refused to tell me what his thoughts on the situation really were... Which really bothered me, so I pulled one of my spoiled moments and was like " Whatever,let's just drop the subject and never bring it up again." I can't stand when a person expects me to tell them how i really feel, but then not want to explain themselves. All he said was " Now you know what guys go thru"... Whatever...I guess patience is a virtue, and blessings come with patience.This one I'm leaving alone for awhile, because well with Swag in his ear,Thing 2, and the fact that I am a busy body on the table.He has to question my motives, and if I were him I would question me too.

So on chill mode for now, He'll contact me, when he is ready to talk... I'm not going to contact him after Saturday's fiasco (see HollabackGirl)

... And That's Fine

I'm forced to be triflin at every turn, I rarely tell my friends the full story, because remember that discretion is everything. The stories I tell you are explicit and they are a release of what I really want to say, but know better than to actually say them aloud. I talk about them, but I get a little shy when talking about things.

This last year has been plenty entertaining and full of a plethora of sexual experiences that I will never forget, well some are rather forgetable. It seems my sex life got in the way of me getting to know Swag, I am not getting with every guy in the world, my number remains at two, but I utilize those ones to the best of my ability. I told one of my friends the other day that I haven't had sex in a month, and she was like "you had sex last week hoe!" I was like "nu uh" and she was like " Oral is sex"... Technically it is, but to me if there is no penetration, then it isn't really sex. I mean sometimes depending on the guy head is better than sex. LLS... Anyways today I saw Number 1... and he is number one for a reason. I didn't neccessasarily see his importance a few days,weeks, even months ago. It seems that I have turned off emotions and just stuck to business these last couple months. I feel like we ended for a reason. It served it's purpose. I sometimes wonder what could have been, but no longer wish to go back to that place and time.We are what we are going to be, and that's cool.

Swagger on a hundred,thousand,trillion....

Swag...

You may not have heard about Swag, and that was unintenional. He just was not as significant as others have been. He had so much potential... but there was drama from the gate. You know that broad that went around spreading rumors and lies on me... well he was her ex. He was pretty significant to her as well... I think by now we should give her a name, and I will call her Badger, because well...she looks like one. Anyway. Swag was Badger's ex and I somehow always love trouble, and I find myself in it often.

ANYWAY... I was going to this event out of town a few months ago. And I decided to randomly message him, he was going to the same event so we said we'd see each other. Anyways didn't see him,My girl Vixen saw him he saw her and it looked as though he was looking for me. hmmm... i message him, about how maybe if we had each other's numbers then we would have been able to meet up... Numbers are exchanged as well as a few text messages here and there. I wanted to hang out, we'd make plans, he'd always come up with something he had to do. I knew that he was a busy guy, because I had been there during the duration of his relationship with the Badger.Anyway never hung out, never hit me up... But now you feel some type of way???

The night I hooked up with Thing 1, I had contacted him, and wanted to hang out... but you guessed it, he wasn't trying to hang out. If you go back and read "Stranger things have happened", you will see that rather than calling me, he called Thing 1, ha it all encircles each other right? He wasn't really trying to get to know me, or chill with me, but then you find out your boy got with me you feel slighted? I guess I was supposed to wait for him. NEWS FLASH... I'm not waiting for you!

So long story short guys, please don't be salty when you find out that a girl was really doing the damn thing and you was tryna sleep. Be upset with yourself, but don't take it out on her. Take it out on yourself! Don't even get mad at your boy, you both had the same oppurtunity. He just knew what he wanted and went for it... I am in no way obligated or ever was obligated to Swag. Sure I liked him, or maybe was just attracted to him, but he wasn't doing anything to try to further the realtionship, it was just a flirtation. Nothing more, and nothing less.

Thought of the day: Smuts

So, Everyone loves a smut. STAMPED... However, I'm not sure I want to be a smut. The life a smut leads is very entertaining for a plethora of reasons. She always has a story to tell. She walks a thin line between being found out and keeping her shit low key. She can have a nigga on deck in no time. Thing is, half the females on this planet have smutted, considered smutting, or are smutting right now.There are very few who have remained good girls, and don't get loose ever every once in awhile. You don't just become a smut and go back to being a good girl though. Once a smut, always a smut. That's like a a recovering crackhead is always a crackhead, when the vice is present their bodies shiver and shake trying to fight it. Is sex too, not an addiction?

And it was said Best in the interlude " The Morning After"

" She ain't a hoe, she just knows what she wants out of life"-andre 3000

The one who started it all...

Okay so, I hadn't seen number one in a really long time... in fact. I haven't talked to him since like December! I sometimes miss the kid! He wasn't the best, he wasn't the worst. Okay... I was trying to be nice with the last statement...Seeing as I was a virgin at the time. I wasn't really sure how the whole sex thing worked, and what it was supposed entail.

I mean foreplay and all was standard, and one turn off is this... Guys please be well versed in taking off bras, I mean this lame. UGH... He didn't know how to... I wanted to scream..."I'M THE VIRGIN!!!!NOT YOU"!(or was he?) I was annoyed. But after that, it was okay. Missionary... I was a virgin, so i knew there shouldn't be any Olympics just yet.

Fast Forward... to the second time with him...

The same... okay, I'm not a virgin anymore, we can do more than have boring assed sex. This dude finally cums, but doesn't roll over. So I'm just looking like what the hell? When he is ready again, I take control of things, why? Because I did not get mine the first time around. I had to... and that's when Notorious Nikki was born, that's when I realized I could never have sex with him again.

I've had interesting experiences ever since... lol. I don't think you can handle my truths!

No more Number 2

Number 2...

There will be no more stories about number 2. The reason is, we are going in two different directions. There are rumors about things that went on between us. There is only on person in the camp that i feel put my shit on blast( another blog in itself) Anyway, I'm done with it. You don't try to mend things with bussit babies. You just do them a couple times and move on as you are supposed to. There is no way, I would be dumb enough to publicly tell people we got it in. I hate that it has to end this way, but I am not a groupie and don't plan on looking like a groupie. It just looks bad, because he has a boo. I'm planning on settling down soon. I want to settle down soon, one guy and that's it. None of this Boy #, X,Y,Z. I think home girl knows too, o well. Too bad your boo was licking it, and you prolly kissed him that same night. Wonder if he brushed his teeth... a mess! o well... it was gonna end... sooner rather than later!

The Truth is...

So, I have been keeping it 100% lately... or so I have been telling myself. I told myself that I couldn't stand Thing 1... and a whole list of self fulfilling prophecies. I did at one point like him. I just didn't like the fact that he was willing to listen to a dumb broad who didn't even have her own shit together! I was mad at him that he had stopped talking to me, and getting to know me because of the things that she had to say about me. A good friend told me that things happened that way for a reason and maybe it wasn't meant to be. All this happened in like November. So now we are in April and things like "Stranger things have happened" happen. It makes me rethink a few things, why am I rethinking things, because there is a possibility that i may not even know the other side of the story.

What happened?
Today i saw him, i wasn't going to speak. Why? Because I didn't want to be perceived as eager beaver and trying to get round two crackin. I was wearing heels which make my legs look phenomenal, and give me an extra "umph". Lol. I walked passed him with a friend. Saw another friend and talked to them. It was what it was, I went and sat down at a table with my friend. Here he comes. After telling me he doesn't go out of his way ( He does). And there is this wave of Chemistry that had me thinking of what has happened.I wanted to kiss him in public... I've never wanted to kiss someone in public. Of course this chick who is not remotely cute, decides to be a blocker. I detest blockers! I really do. She is no exception. Slore!!!She is like "Hey ******" I was just annoyed. My friend asked me, why we weren't talking and I simply said" I don't know"...Because I really don't know.

I was gettin' some head.

So have you ever had a conversation with a guy, that casual conversation about what you are both willing and unwilling to do. So the most common complaint or refusal of service is head.

I know this because I too, was one of those. " EWWWW, That's nasty" Type of girls. Not to say it is something that I do regularly or with everyone( I'm pretty selective). I just don't think that it is meant to be done with everyone, some people are saving it for marriage, but they gladly receive the service. I think that is kinda selfish.I am in no way condoning it, but to each his own.

What I think is funny is the main ones who protest it, and say how nasty it is are the main ones who do it. Stop lying people. If you give head, you give head. That doesn't make you any less of a man, or any less of a woman. You just like making people happy and you like being made happy. How dumb does it sound to say, "I enjoy getting head. But Nope, I never gave it". SMH... Good luck convincing others of that...

And if you really have never given head, well... don't knock it until you have tried it. Guys stop lying in front of your boys talking about, " I don't do that".... like hell you don't... lls. Be the one to give it first too! Trust me, there is not a position called 69 for nothing, if people weren't doing it, it would not be so popular or a "must try" position.Me? I don't particularly like it. I can't focus on me, if i'm trying to please you. It's like a conflict of interest.Anywho I was asked to do this a few days ago, politely declined. I don't like it, like I said to each his own.

Please brush your teeth afterwards! PEACE!

Brand New....

So... Thing1 is not being brand new... he's being himself. Which i thoroughly expected and repeatedly told him. He didn't have to call me the next day, which he did. He didn't have to text me, which he did. He didn't have to do a lot, of things but you already guessed it... HE DID!!!So You was feeling some type of way, not to mention the conversation we had when both parties were sober. No one eats you out while saying " MMMMM" and other Sound effects... Then tries to play your life in front of his friends.

Like I said it wasn't meant to happen, and it will never happen again( as long as i am sober)... It just need not happen again.Especially the fact that he had the audacity to tell his little friends. Whom we will affectionately call,"Ballers and fallers"... the whole squad claims to have money and like they are balling outrageously stunting in their respective vehicles. Wearing fly clothes, and basically spending every waking moment in each others prescence.

Anyway, I wouldn't mind the fact that they knew what happened, after all i am putting it online for everyone to see, ( but you don't personally know me, nor can you see my face around campus!!)Anyway i suppose he tells them all when I am walking. I look over them by chance, and they are all in my face. U-G-H... What is wrong with these people. Not gonna lie, I knew that he was gonna talk, but at least use discretion enough not to do it when i am around! And tell your lookin ass friends to chill!

So No, I'm not trying to be cool with him. Even though the head was pretty good. I'm good on that thanks. I'm about to write a whole blog dedicated to all these Head givers out here... talking about i don't do that...Why you got to lie craig? Why you got to lie? lls. But as stated previously he is crazy, so yeah. No need to be sad and blue... cuz Niggas is hoes too!

Stranger Things have happened....

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

They are interesting!

So What happened today... Like I said I need to start giving people names, because this initial stuff is no longer working.I have people who all have like the same initials.. So I will simply say

******* DISCLAIMER!!!!************

All names have been changed to protect the innocent( well actually the gulity) ! Anyway I see this guy who is in my lab and i wanted to make sure we had nothing to turn in... I didn't go anyway. He was all on some " Let Me get your number so i know what edition of the book to get...." I'm like whatever my number is (678) 999-8212 not thinking anything of it... After that's exchanged he starts talking to *Number 2 and then he and Number 2 both look at me. As if I don't know what they are talking about. *Yeah,it was note worthy i guess. Smh...I think I need to further detail about that event at a later date...(plus i got a meeting with my professor!!!)

... We getting to know each other!

I will get around to writing part 3... but in the mean time. I want to write about something other... ( I promise i will link everything!) Anyways. Life is interesting. I feel kinda paranoid about somthing, but I will discuss that later. Right now, I am currently trying to come up with a definition of what talking is in my mind. I mean, this guy I was having a converation was like talking is getting ready to get in a relationship and to me that is " Reaching"... i mean just because me and you are talking does not mean in any way that we are exclusive.

Why should we be forced into a false title? I define talking to someone as getting to know them. Essentially, I am talking to a few at the moment, and exclusive with none, doing what? Talking and nothing more. I wish someone would touch me. I am what they have called in the past an " ICE PRINCESS" I don't need to " experience" every man on earth to feel complete. That just isn't me, and I don't buy that garbage that every guy does something different... Yeah messing around with every guy will get you a trip to the clinic. Thanks, but Hell to the NO!!!!!!!

So yeah talking to me is getting to know people, none of this relationship business. That is why it is called a relationship, it is self explanatory, it is cut and dry. There is no guess work, but I admit that talking is very complex... but all you hoes stop reaching!

Part deux

Let me say that you must read the previous entry ( here) in order to follow what I am talking about.

Anyway one day( 2006) I'm chilling in my room before work and life is just chill, I'm happy and I'm cool. I'm doing me, my friend " B" is coming to get me and things are peachy. Let me say that in order to get to my house " B" must pass " T's " house. I paid it no mind.

She gets to my house we at the crib just chillin, and what not. Talking about dude's as usual. I'm plotting to talk to "J" cuz "D" was getting too serious saying he loved me and ish.( You don't love me, you love the thought of getting it in*smh)Not to mention my father was on some other ish, becasue "D" wasn't black. Basically he made me sit down and watch Jungle Fever. LLs Very enlightening. I managed to get the point and laugh (at Gator) So it was win win.

Any way I'm plotting to talk to " J" and low and behold he has a brother... named "C"... "C" is the bomb, I mean he got a 2006 Mustang Convertible all black with red interior( I think, if memory serves) Anyways "B" decides she is gonna get with him and take him to prom.

************* MIND YOU THIS IS ALL BEFORE PROM*********************

As if he could read our minds. " T" begins to chirp "B", but she isn't responding. So I'm like this dude is bugging! Defintion of Bug-A-Boo anyways I'm all annoyed and so is she. So i tell him some stuff like she left my phone at my house and he isn't buying it. He proceeds to tell me they are engaged. * Drops JAWWWWWWW.......... UHM really now player? Me and her are seniors and he graduated the year before, but engaged and underage much? Not to mention there was no ring. Yeah I know you don't have to have a ring, but if a dude really expects to be taken seriously he should have a ring.

So this chick is engaged and planing to take another dude to prom! Wild right? The wild part is we all do end up going to prom together. "J" me and "D"... "T" and "B" and some other people. I'm going to give everyone names, cuz this initial ish is getting really complex and pretty soon there are gonna be a lot of initals that are the same. So stay tuned... for part tres!

O But He is cool....

I have learned to not be friends with boyfriends and girlfriends. I got caught in the middle of Bobby and Whitney meets Chris and Rihanna for lunch type of situation. "T" was the guy and he was cool, I really liked him as a friend. I love the male perspective more so than the female perspective. Females are very unforgiving, dudes let me get away with a lot! So me and him are really cool and whatever. He has a girlfriend named " B" now me and "B" are cool, she is very distrustful of females. With reason though, not like some paranoid chick. I was like okay cool, we are all friends here.

Well I guess " T" had other plans. Because I found myself in the most dramatic of places on earth. I tried to be friends with both of them, offering them advice when one came to me. Providing each with an alibi every time they were off cheating on each other."T" figured that out and got really upset with me for not telling him "B" was getting it in with another guy. I simply said it wasn't my place to get in between them and he was mad (drunkenly cussing me out.) Fast Forward to after Prom. My ex "D" is suspicious I am talking to this guy " J" in his class. I was talking to " J" but that's not the point. The point is "B" goes and tell "D" I was tryna get with "J"... She was supposed to be my girl. Seems "T" told her i tried to eff him at prom. As if I really need to try to eff anyone... Dumb broads. Why does "T" tell her this? Cuz i was a bad friend to him.

I wish i could make this BS up, but that's part 1 of the series. This only gets deeper, the story only twisted, relationships get broken, trust gets lost, I lose my mind and yeah. lol Stay tuned!

Confessions...

I have a confession to make...
I like drama... Big or small. Short or tall. Come one. Come all. It's drama time y'all. So I was at work one day, talking to the manager. Goofin' he is no more than like 3 years older than me so we can talk about life and have similar experiences and can give perspectives. I look up and low and behold here comes my ex( a former employee) Let me explain to you me and him started officially talking on my 18th birthday and by time i had turned 19 I was over the dramatic ass situation. My ex "D" is not black. He is actually Half White and Asian. I liked him cause he was different, well not really. He was just the token wannabe black guy. Anyways things were cool when we initially started talking then my father found out, and made life and seeing D difficult. Anyway the reason why it ended was because I was in school met a new guy ( who played a bigger role in my life than i expected) Not to mention he thought i was cheating on him....( Yeah will blog that too).

Anyway back to the story. He sees me and I see him, coulda sworn water was under the bridge after all this time and finally becoming civil. This dude wants to act salty and shake his head when he sees me... Let's not bring up the fact that before me this dude did not know what a polo was and almost dropped outta high school( which he eventually did) But the blasphemy of this clown shaking his head when he sees me. I laughed at him, like always because this clown is a joke. I should tell you about his underage girlfriend saying I'm jealous of her... lol... o yes I'm so jealous that i don't have a boyfriend who is 21 years old, living at home with his parents, with no diploma, who is working in fast food. He sounds like the man of my dreams. Get the eff out.( Will blog about that too.)

I don't feel bad though, because he acts like this towards all his exes. He feels some type of way because he said all that ish that gets normal girls all vulnerable and open. Me? not phased. He definitely tried and failed miserably...plus i heard he was a jack rabbit if you catch my drift, glad i didn't waste my time!

Wreckless...

Okay,is it just me or as females are we collectively loosing our damn minds?

Once upon a time I was a home wrecker and proud of it lol. ( Will write that blog at a later date.) Well I never " consumated" that so it wasn't really home wrecking it was more so emotional than physical. Lol... after that( again you will have to read that blog when it goes up) I told myself I was never going to aid a black man in disrespecting another black woman...Well i was 18 then and clearly am 21 now. I had to make some decisions then and think some things out then for future references. Here is what i came up with.

A. You are not special. You are not the entree', at the end of the day... who is he with? Not you!Don't try that bs.
B. You may think that because he is leaving her to be with you, that you are special. Well you may be special, but doesn't he leave his girl to chill with his boys? Yep.
C. You try to tell yourself that he is gonna leave her for you, cuz you are the Sugar Honey Iced Tea. Can I slap the hell outta you? If he was gonna leave her, he woulda been done left right? Smarten up!
D. Here's my fave. Why do you want him? If he is cheating on her with you,won't he cheat on you with someone else? Listen to Ginuwine's song " What's so different"... and really ask yourself, What is so different?
E. Silly chicks are so eager talking about I'll take your man, if he'll stray over some easy jump, then I don't want him.

So this is the reason, I chose to keep guys as friends, and not pursue relations or relationships with them. Life is less complex that way. As long as you can decipher what is going on for what it really is then you good. It's when you think you can change the playa, when your game get's busted.

My First...

My First Boyfriend (official) was when i was 16. Yeah, cute right? Lol, for some reason I wanna say i was a junior and he was a sophomore...smmh... don't remember. But this scenario sounds typical of me right? Anyways he is all like " You wanna be my girlfriend?" And i was like sure why not. Let me first explain to you that it was destined to fail. One thing that I have come to learn about myself is that i love Instant Gratification. I was spoiled as a child, and i usually got what i wanted. For me relationships should (in theory) work just like this.Everything I do is with the quickness... not sex or whatever, but I like to know everything up front... intentions,boundaries, and stuff like that... NOW... but then I just went with the flow of things.

Me and "M" had talked a total of twice on the phone, before we were Bf and Gf...He was cute, and he was kinda cool in his own way. I love dorks! lol he was just that, he was like one of those guys who had collected poke'mon and had " Action Figures" but that was OK. We kinda got to know each other as we dated, and to be honest with you. It was not woking, he liked holding hands, me not so much. My best friend was constantly clowning him and it was just one of those things, I don't remember if i even kissed him( *Sad Face) I just wasn't attracted to him I guess! Lol...anyway. I made the fatal mistake of telling a mutual friend i was gonna break up with him, and that mutual friend let him know, so he broke up with me first... now that isn't even the bad part of the story, o it gets deep!!!

My best friend who was clowning him so terribly was all of the sudden his best friend. She was going over his house, and shit.So I was ma suspect. I figured they were dating after a few weeks. I just waited for her to tell me, not that i was mad or anything, cuz i was not attracted to him. I just don't like my intelligence being insulted. Does anyone? So I'm in 2nd block, chillin' and this dude who rides her bus is telling me that she tellin' everyone I don't know and that everything was all good. ( Like i was dumb) I waited until i got home and decided to call her on it. I simply asked" Is there anything you want to tell me?" This chick got defensive and had the audacity to say " Is there anything you want to know?"---- PAUSE----- Now this is where keeping it real went horribly wrong for her. You know I have mood swings. I was like " You really just gone insult my intelligence like that?" and from that point i just remember my mother coming home and looking at me like I was crazy cuz I was screaming all kinda craziness into the phone. My signature is to just hang up and leave the person messed up.
How can you be someone's best friend and even think of doing some shit like that? Anyway I was like whatever, just didn't conversate or associate with her after that point. We eventually became real cool again and are friends today, but we can never talk about the situation without someone getting heated again. The moral of the story is Make sure you and your friends have opposite taste in guys and be very very well versed in Girl Code ( even though I have been flagrantly violating it lately)

Lil Miss Sunshine

I'm happiest when the sun is shining and everything on the outside looks beautiful. I hate turbulence, I hate dramatics and yet i perpetuate it. I guess in a way dramatics is attention and i love me some attention. That is just the way it is... most of the time I'm just a regular girl,who doesn't love attention. It is pretty safe too, i am at no risk at getting pregnant or having an STD because of drama... just Heart break and head aches... but those are tolerable because they are not forever!!!

This being said I think it's the perfect time for lil miss Sunshine... to come back out. Loves it!!!

He got swag!

Swag... How i love it, I mean that's not all that comes into play when selecting a guy. I mean swag, or lack there of swag says a lot. I love it, swag is not just what a guy is wearing it is like his "Je ne sais quois" (translation: i don't know what) like it's the way he talks, the way way he walks, his intellect. I love it, I am attracted to guys who are confident,and smart. Yeah you will never catch me in the trap tryna pull a hood figure. No, that's just not me. Although, I could. I choose to talk to a dude who is legit(as we all should).
Females fall into this trap of thinking they need a thug or an Ain't Sh*t Nigga, that's all well and good when you 18 cause we all go through that phase. As a college student, I am studying to get my degree and I want a guy achieving the same goals as me. I don't know nothing about no all white bricks, so I won't pretend to be hood, I ain't NUNU lol.

Anyway swag is great, and It would be awesome if everyone had it, but they don't and if you have the swag of a young man who is about something in life, then YOU GO BOY!!!

She like the group, call her a groupie.

So this dude is really entertaining me. Not because he is gassing my head up, but because i thought that once you reached a certain age you were, well, I don't know mature. Any who this guy basically interpreted my compliment as me flirting, and I prolly was, but anyways he thinks i like him. Proceeds to tell people( mind you we are 21 now)that i like him. Then this dumb broad who tried to destroy my life is like, you know she likes your friend too(Thing2)... wait pause... since when does inquiring what a dude is about misconstrued as me liking him? So okay fast forward, he starts acting funny, convo is dumb, and I'm like whatever.I keeps it moving boo.

Then this chick i know comes up to me tellin' me about how i was tryna get down with him and his boy. I'm thinking" What the F*ck?" lol... Does this even sound logical to you? Yeah me either. So I laugh it off and start distancing myself, only a fool addresses rumors. One day one of my home boys(number 2) wants to have a conversation and i am like whatever, why not? We proceed to leave the setting we were in and go to a place where we can have the convo, so we get up to leave. My girl sends me this text message talking about " Be careful *Thing 1 and Thing 2 are following you." I turn around and sure enough these dudes done seen me leave with Number 2 and are following us. I laugh cause it is funny and proceed to have my conversation. Yeah uhm we are 21 & following people? I didn't know I was of concern?

* I wish this were the end of the story, but all i can say is "developing" cuz there is so much to tell. I think I'm going to call this "the groupie series"!

I ain't even tripping

hmmm kids... What should Nikki tell you today?? Uhm... Idk. So here is the thing. I realized that drama is something that though I don't want it, will inevitably follow me,Where ever I go as long as I am still me and the sun still rises in the east then there is gonna be drama. I don't have a problem with that. What i do have a problem with is salty assed people.

I chose to live my life low sodium, substituting the salt for ... sugar. Sugar is so much sweeter. I don't particularly care for feeling some type of way. I just don't have the time or the energy. As Diddy said it best " Emotions will have you kicking yourself in the ass". And sorry, but i ain't got time for bruises. 2009 the year of triflin' get your money and your game right!

Number 2 has a lot to prove... hmmmm

So where to begin... Ahhh I think I'll start here...

So there was this guy who I met my sophomore year, he was a freshman and it was no big deal, because he seemed like a cool kid and there was no attraction whatsoever.( On my part) So fast forward to Sept. 2008 he's still him, I'm still me. Except one day we actually have this conversation about my past . He is intrigued and reveals to me that he had written in my honesty box over the summer. So I'm like, ok and what did you say?... hmmm...ughh...that's okay I'll wait. He expects me to guess. I'm not one for guessing games. I was like whatever, I don't care. ( Even though i really wanted to know.) Then this dude is like **** TRUE STORY**** " I had like a crush on you". I thought that was cute, cause at the time I was dealing with the infamous dude from last semester.Any who, he was trying to get it in. I wasn't, cause I mean why? Just cause a dude likes you or says he does, don't mean for you to get all loose booty Judy on everyone. So at this point i was like, so what is it that you like about me. Some stuff about, I'm not smutting ...blah-se-blah. I'm thinkin' whatever.(It's just my mentality in general when it comes to guys)

He however is very persistent and I'm resistant. Plus I know there is something he is trying to keep on the low. I don't know ,maybe like the fact that he has a boo.( Did I say that?) Anyway makes me no difference, because I don't plan on ever sealing the deal. I go ahead and engage in mindless banter of the "what could be's and what ain't gone be's " we agree that we are going to be cool no matter what happens. (*lies, all lies!)

Months go by, and the answer still remained a resounding no.

We now are in 2009... Blame it on the Alcohol... Jamie Foxx just gave everyone a perfect excuse. Any way, things have changed drastically.Honestly I'm not gonna say that he is the only one acting dumb,I was too. I realized I was being rude, so i stopped being rude.It is what it is, and it's life. No need being sad and blue. I knew the situation and so did you.

***
Update: So many wondered what went down in the first place... Here's part 1

Those boys up top...

Let me say first an fore I was born in New York, and lived there until the age of 5... Moved to the South(Louisiana) and lived there til i was 17 1/2 to which I moved to VA and have been here since. I have grown to love Boys raised in the south they have a way about them that is so laid back. The boys up top are so eager to try an play someone. So today with my girl she stops and talks to this group of guys I don't particularly care for. One speaks to her, then speaks to me, blah-se-blah he is not amusing me. I jump to the next in the middle of his sentence, he be doing annoying ish. I'm not keri hilson, but that's a turn off and then some. They proceed to laugh and what not, whatever salt. I don't like boys from up top... for a reason lol. Naw I just think that it was funny he gone try to play me after putting himself out there. My life.. Next!

Bust it wide open...

LOL... I realized that last semester i really did put things on blast via this website. I fully intend on continuing to put a lot out there. People are hilarious to me! Especially guys, I guess many feel salty, and some feel slighted, and i really genuinely could care less.Lol. So Buckle your seat belts I'm about to say some scandalous things.

Computer Love!!!

Okay, so I am one of those people who is like uhm, talking to some random on the internet as a means of a relationship is so weird. Lol, I know not everyone can be met and be right infront of your face. I think that you can find a meaningful relationship on the internet. I just don't think that it is for me. I tried it before and I am not gonna lie I really liked the kid.

It was The summer before college, I was working ridiculous hours and I didn't have much time with my friends, but i did have time to get on Tagged.com. Tagged was the business for me, before myspace, and my addiction to facebook. I met this guy and he was really cool, the thing is we were in two different states. So We continued talking for hours each night via yahoo messenger. He went to School in New York and I went to school in VA, so with college came a little bit of a distance. Then I started meeting real guys lol. That was that.

One day I went to delete some of my old accounts and saw all the messages and saw how close we had really gotten. If we were infront of each other I think it would have prolly been a match lol. I messaged him on facebook, and was like Hey, long time no speak( we are juniors now) and he didn't respond. I was like whatever it was no biggie. Then He wrote on my wall on my Birthday talking about " Hey, Happy Birthday, it's been awhile". I was like wow, it's been so long...I haven't messaged him back yet, but i was wondering what would have been? lol.

So if you find love or something a lot like it, it should not matter if it is online, on campus, or off. Do you. Don't worry about what others say, unless the person you chating with is a serial killer( Be careful, not desperate) lol

Maybe?

Things are finally getting back to normalcy. No more having to double check and see just what lies have been spread from day to day. I find it all to have been pretty entertaining,comical, and pathetic. Anytime you have to sabotage others to feel better about you, just let's all know you are a sad little person. I could go off and act a fool, but the reality of the situation is I don't have to. Those who try to cast a negative light on me, only see that they make themselves look bad. I don't have to talk about people or spread lies to feel good about me. That's all I'm sayin'. I don't get females, never have and never will, that's why i go hard with guys there is none of the catty BS.

As i said life is good.Be blessed!

There is one in every group...

The cock block is a miserable little soul who loves to make your life that much more complex. There is a cock block in every group and while, i knew this before. There needs to be some type of chant to wish them away... You know like how Dora says " Swiper no swiping?" Why can't the chant be like " Blocker no blocking" ? lol. The blocker is only happy when they successfully make sure your chances with whomever are significantly diminished. Why can't they channel all that energy into finding someone for themselves? ( Can you guess I am dealing with a blocker? lol) Anyway until i come up with the cure to blockerism, I will keep you posted lol.

Triflin 21

I am sorry... I'm reverting back to writing about me. O well... I'm pretty entertaining half the time. So anyways, I am looking at 21... and I haven't been 21 for quite a month just yet, and already some interesting events have transpired. I was sitting in class the other day and this girl was like " You know what? 2009 is just gonna be a triflin' year." We all laughed it off, but it is really starting off that way and I kinda like it.

Friends Though and Through!

Sometimes it happens this way:
You meet someone and you are just cool.
You don't really like them " like that".
So you don't act on anything, and you just act like normal.
Now here is where you can deviate from the path.
You can:
A. Keep things platonic
or
B. Complicate things via relationship or relations (there is a difference)

Most of us, are the types who believe that friendships can go un-changed because ( we have been there before and we know what to do, and what not to do this time around)

Honestly there is no way to really be the same after you have crossed certain lines in the sand, if you feel the need to cross this line fully assess the damages you might cause.

So here are some healthy tips to keep the lines of communication open.

1.) Be nice. ( otherwise you look salty and bitter)
2.) Fix your face. ( No salty looks,mean mugging, etc)
3.) Smile and say a few friendly words.( You don't have to have a full conversation, keeps it movin' boo)
4.) Don't try to attach yourself, or make yourself "too available". That sets up another situation which i like to call " Swimfan" ( will blog about that later.)
5.) Just be cool, and continue to do the things you did before you were in the relationship/having relations. some find this difficult and would rather drop the person all together.

Dropping the person all together introduces a completely different blog lol. But if they are not being the person they were before and just asking plain dumb, why even put yourself through it... Next. It's not worth the energy!

I've been slacking..

It's spring semester! What can i say? I turned 21... I am meeting new people... I think I want to temporarily go back to the " Dashboard confessional" type of blog. After all i do know a lot about myself,even if i don't really know myself!I know about me!Blogs on Deck

" Maybe?"
" Friends through and through"
" They just don't know"
" Totally 21 or Triflin 21?"

The hopeless Romantic(simp) in me!

Dear 21st B-day...
This Birthday must overshadow last years. I am so much different in the space of a year. I have gained so much experiences and learned a lot of new lessons. I have learned my inner strengths as well as my weaknesses. My weaknesses are not really weaknesses, but they cause me trouble sometimes. I sometimes don't understand myself or my feelings and 21st we are gonna try to understand, and if we don't eff it we got some more living to do! I want to just say that I have been being a good girl! No kids, no Maury baby father shows(I watch them, a lot though) lol. I love being me and I just want to be me a little longer so i can learn the true meaning of love. I want to learn what it takes to make a relationship work. I want to meet the guy, that changes the game for me! ( 4 more years, by 25 please). I don't want to be old, unmarried, and in decline. I want to continue to live and grow. I guess that's all 21st, please put me first! ♥ Alex DeVonce'

Goodbye February!

It is now march!!! 10 days until My Bday specifically!! So I am excited!!! February, I neglecteds to pay any type of homage to it being Black History month, and I feel slightly bad! So Thank you to all the Civil Rights Leaders and all the people who suffered in order for me to be able to sit here and be able to be a college Student at an HBCU. With the tools i have been given, I need to do better, i have no choice but to! I encourage all my peers to continue to strive to be the leaders of tomorrow that we are being prepared to be!

...I am not your average chick!

I constantly ask myself, why do you act like a guy? Why can’t you just catch feelings like a normal chick? In my opinion there are three types of people in relationships, the played, the players, and those who try to play but get caught. I am a player after all relationships are just a game really. And what is game? It’s strategy! Everything in life is about strategy; if you don’t have the right strategy then you will lose and be a simp. Being sprung… well that happens to us all. Please never say never, because the day you say never is the day that karma determines you are about to be her new bussit baby! Lol. I have been influenced by real life. True story many people don’t know what they want and when you don’t set clear boundaries, problems ensue. You can say you aren’t mad when things fall short of your expectations, but the reality of the situation we all become disenchanted, because in the back of our minds we all know (male or female) we wondered what could be! So in reality, it is more beneficial to be guy minded. I rarely catch feelings, I think if I were really a guy people would say that I am an asshole. Cuz I’ve been told that I am an asshole for the way that I treat guys. So in fact, are they calling themselves assholes because that’s the way they treat girls? hmmmm I tried to remedy that in the past, but I don’t see the point when I tried acting like a girl, it just didn’t feel right o yeah and I was acting real simp. “Say that I’m simpin, sprung, all of the above.”- Neyo

Drake

Y'all remember him best as Jimmy from Degrassi, but Drake is that dude. I am in love!! Right now I have " Brand New" on steady repeat! He sings, he raps, he acts... Please don't tell me he can dance too. This dude is bringing hip hop back. His word play is insane and his lyrics are on point! Best thing in awhile!!!

Busted Windows

I've been so M.I.A... but the topic of the day is something that we all know about o too well!!! RELATIONSHIPS.
So I went to this relationship forum on wednesday and it went there and back. It addressed issues that were really actually things that needed to be addressed in my own relationships. I wasn't going to go in the first place, however it was something that i needed to do. Make appearances and what not. Remember it's not necessarily what you know, it's who you know.But any way back to the Forum. It was very insightful, and it made me want to kick myself in the a$$ for some of my past relationships. Now I know how to better communicate (in theory) what I want.

Today's Theme Song:

Swag Surfin'by F.L.Y

Windows down... Volume up... Bass Boomin'... Gotta love it. You feel better about life for the duration of the song.

Sometimey people!

Today's annoyance: Sometimey people, sometimes they are down for you and sometimes you can't get them on the phone when you really need them. They will ride... For free. But the first mention of Gas money or money period... Drama ensues. I don't like these types. The type that really don't want to be around you, so they have to bring someone else with them in order to feel comfortable. Why is this? Why even go out with people you don't like? To me that's fakery. And Y'all know know how I feel about Fakery. I don't like it, and I can't understand for the life of me, why people don't think that they will eventually be exposed for who and what they really are!!

Rehab Forever!

What happened to waiting to find out the truth?

I am in no way in support of Domestic Violence so yeah with that said. Why is everyone completely againt Chris Brown? I feel like something got him caught up and that thing was Rhianna. So what she is pretty? She is the "it" girl right now. And they were something that many envied. However, we shouldn't envy what we don't have full knowledge of, not should we judge when we don't have all the evidence in the case.

M.I.A

I think we all breathed a sigh of relief when M.I.A did not deliver her baby on stage tonight at the Grammys. I have seen some horrendous outfits, but this takes the cakes. she looked straight up like a big ass lady bug. I may get preggers one day and be big too, but you will never catch me looking that bad, even on my worst day Morning Sickness, baby tap-dancing on my bladder and all!Pics will be up tomorrow.

No, Chris. No,Chris, No!!!

Chris Brown has supposedly beat Rihanna down y'all and sources are saying that it has a lil something to do with those sores on her lip.photographic evidence I mean the herpes is not something to play with, nor will it ever go away. I'd whoop some azz over herpes myself.

... That thing on your lip...

For all of you who were unaware... Rihanna had a sore on her lip that looked a lot like herpes. Now I have had a cold sore in my day, and this is not a cold sore. Images courtesy of Media Takeout... cuz you know they act like fools when not given credit!

Teairra Mari: Transformation

She is back and more mature. I can relate more to her music than I did in previous Years. Currently I have been listening to "Find My Way Back" and I have " Hunt 4 You" featuring Pleasure P as my Myspace Song. I am anticipating her CD heavily. Love it!
Take a listen Below. There is a big differnce from when we first heard her on " How to make a girl feel". I absolutely love it. I think you will too.

Single Ladies? Ehh

... I'd rather find someone new.
Throw back of the day!

" Another"- Notorious B.I.G and Lil' Kim from the Life after Death CD.



Kim Goes Hard!!!

mood of the day: Mellow Yellow

Chill out... relax. All the stress is extra!! Really Extra!! I am so serious when i say that drama is not needed so sit back and listen to a song that may be from a different Genre that you aren't used to, but you will love.

Click here For " Electric Feel"-MGMT

No Ye' NO!!!!!!

WTF? Is this mess???He looks like Luther Vandross!! And I don't mean that in no good way! I think that this is what he was " Trying" Emphasis on trying to get at!


* Kanye Image Courtesy of MediaTakeout

I'mma ah Diva, This is a mix up, mix up

Actor Joaquin Phoenix is becoming a rapper Y'all! A R-A-P-P-E-R, even though he looks like a R-A-P-I-S-T these days!

Before


Now


He must be a full blooded goon, because this dude "retired" from acting to become a rapper. Guess Who is producing his record Y'all Mr. Sean "Can't stop/won't stop" Combs.

For the Diva story click here

Going Hard?

"Turn the pro tunes in the booth off
I'ma go harder than Ye go
And Ye go hard
That's baby bro"- Jay Z

At the end of his Bar he tries to come at Ye( extra late hit may i add.) Yay def. came out with Big Brother in like 2007. So Yeah this was mad lame on jigga man's part!

Listen for Yourself

30th Anniversary

It's the 30th Anniversary of that song that has inspired millions and uplifted spirits. " I will Survive" By Gloria Gaynor was the only disco record to get a grammy, and I am willing to bet that we all know the words and can sing along. Not only is it an empowering anthem for women,it has become an Anthem for gay men the world over. O come on I know you can see Star Jone's and Terry McMillan's husbands singing it at karaoke.

And if you are going through some things I put it up here just for you!!! Enjoy!

Thought of The Day:

Bitchassness

Bitchassness is a popular term for someone who is deemed a poor sport. Bitchassness is a word often used by people who perpetuate it. Examples of Bitchassness can be seen in our own homes, on the streets, in the class room, in the cafe', in the club and demonstrated by those that we love, dislike, love to hate, or randoms on the street. Here is a thought: Bitchassness is really used by those who demonstrate bitchass actions on the regular, and like they say game recognizes game, and you lookin' a little too familiar. So Let's think again before calling others outside of their names.

In Case You missed it!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

The 44th President's Inaugural Speech!

"My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land - a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many.

They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America - they will be met. On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics."

"We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted - for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things - some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn. Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions - that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act - not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions - who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them - that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works - whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account - to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day - because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control - and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our Gross Domestic Product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart - not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort - even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus - and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect.

To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages.

We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment - a moment that will define a generation - it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends - hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism - these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility - a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence - the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed - why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world…that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive…that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it]."

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations."

Chief Justice John Roberts messed up the Presidential Oath

I will have video footage for you later... but he messed up. It wasn't Obama.It's official Barack Obama is president as of noon today!

Common Coonery...

Jay-Z My President is black Remix LIVE 1-18-09 from pleasedontstare on Vimeo.

Let's Do a Little Better...Yes... We... Can! Jay's old Ass should be a damn shamed of himself.Yes, we do Have a black president...( less than 2 hours away)! Do we have to act like the N words people believe we are. *sigh!

The First Lady's First Outifit of the day.

Often Compared to Jackie O ( not the " Nookie real Good" Singer, J.F.K's Wife). Mrs. Obama steps out for church at St. John's in this Ensemble.


Do We Love it or Leave it?

Want to see the Inaguration?

So you are stuck in the library, no books no nothing. What is one to do?


http://www.cnn.com/live/

Courtesy of CNN.com you can see History being made. God Bless America!

MLK Day

MLK had a dream and our generation is getting to witness something that was part of that dream. As we all enjoy this day off from school. ( I have the inauguration off as well.) Please take time to remember all those who died for the cause and made our living conditions better than what they were in the past.

Dream Deferred

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

Langston Hughes

I Have a Dream Speech

Notorious K.I.M

Before


After


Lil Kim said She was not contacted about her relationship with Biggie Smalls. However from what I see, it did bare some accuracy. She has tried to become lighter than what she was. Biggie ended up wifing faith and keeping kim as bussit baby. (I don't care what anyone says, looked like bussit to me). Basically that reinforced an Age old Stereotype that lighter skin was better. Biggie was the one who gave Kim her style, in other words he pimped her out and made her look like a common hooker. Sex sells. Lil Kim looks almost nothing like what she originally looked like, she was a pretty girl. It always puzzles me how dudes can screw a chicks self concept up, o well. She is getting her money. However, I wish they would have let her side of the story be more accurate.

I Love It When You Call Me Big Poppa!

I originally intended to write about " My bloody Valentine", but as it was sold out. I decided to see Notorious. I was curious. I mean we have all grown up listening to Biggie. We have heard the stories, we didn't really truly get to know the man in life. So the only thing left was to know him in death.

The movie simply put is good. How accurate? Not so sure. If you want to be gullible and believe everything you see and here than you will love Biggie without taking that into consideration. Now I like Biggie, and I am a fan, but he isn't as innocent as this movie possibly portrays him as. Yeah he did sell drugs, yes he did have faith and Lil Kim, but we are only given a sneak peak of the beef with Tupac. To be completely honest While both men are very influential in Hip Hop even after death, we know that without the whole East Coast/West Coast Rivalry neither man would have the type of celebrity that they both have attained. It is almost as if in death they gained more fame than they actually had in life.The movie never goes into who shot biggie. The movie never really goes into Lil Kim's real relationship with him( Blog later)

Verdict: The Movie is good.However I just advise that you come in with an open mind and leave doing research of your own. This did make me like Biggie's music more. I did walk away with a better sense of who Biggie was!

The Real World: Brooklyn

So It is January with many shows returning back after long Hiatus (in the case of Nip/Tuck) and some not so much. The shows that i am following right now are 90210, Bad Girls Club, Nip/Tuck( my true addiction) and The Real World: Brooklyn( Well we will see how long this captivates me).

So let's see... Instead of Seven strangers picked to live in a house, we are given eight. Four guys and four girls " Well sort of" as Ryan put it. There is a trans-sexual! Oh *shock*Gasp*Gasp. Like only every other show is putting a Trangendered person on. Now he or shall we say she is not a very convincing woman and everyone can clearly see that she was once a he. She stays mum on the subject, not sure of whether or not she shall tell. JD who is gay and can kind of identify with Katyln wants to go to dinner and discuss things with her. Ryan gets upset and asks " Why are you taking it to dinner without the rest of us?" Can we say salty much? anyway he may not have realized that by using the pronoun "it", he was being offensive. I won't dwell on that however he then moves on to his next question to JD." Are you Gay?". All of you who had that extra perceptive gaydar working were accurate JD is Gay.( Notice how i said he was gay before i knew for a fact?)...
Well in any case the show was pretty uneventful except for the hot tub(Which it is not the real world if the cast doesnt' strip down and hob in the tube, but even this was yawn worthy), I have no favorites... I doubt I will see the season to the end, I'm pretty disinterested.In fact, I'm indifferent. Pretty upset that every black chick as of late that gets on real world decides to get a bad weave (remember last season Brianna with those nappy ass braids?).
Maybe Next Week will present Some of that Home Grown Drama Real World is known for, only time will tell.

Ryan-The Homophobe/Army Man

Scott- The Virgin/mormon

Sarah- Girl who liked Girls. But now is in a relationship with a guy.*Emo-ish

jd- The Gay Guy/Nuturer* Who you wish wasn't.

Katelyn- The Trans-gender individual

Deaven- The Token Black Girl* Terrible Wig

chet- The Meat head who lives in the gym.*Made me think of weird science

I don't know her name ( and too lazy to look it up)- Girl who will prolly get jealous.

Kells

I have been saying I was going to write this blog for a very long time. It didn't make 2008, but In 2009 why not?

With songs like " The Greatest" and " I believe I can Fly"or what about" Sadie" (classic) .... it's hard to think of R.kelly as a sexually charged individual who is having sex with young teen aged girls. Then you hear his other songs like "The Greatest Sex" or " Sex in the kitchen" and let us not forget about " bump and Grind". So While we recognize that this man is a genius, let us not forget Aaliyah. Wasn't she secretly married to him at one point? Wasn't she his protege' like the girl in the video? I don't plan to really drag Aaliyah through the dirt here, because in the situation she was a child. Now that she is no longer with us, she can't really tell her side of the story or to what the extent of her relationship was with R.Kelly.

So he is innocent?
Really?
So that means that every person who is ever assaulted by a person with enough money or enough clout can just be paid off, or just fade into the background altogether. I can not stand a pedophile. Not that any one really likes these individual, but they are just a whole nother level of sick individual. I am however a psychology major and i have to see why they do these things. When it comes down to it we all have personal preference and the things that we like and want in a future partner. I know this is twisted, but follow me. I like light skinned guys that are at least 5'8. You may like Dark Skin guys who are 5'2 in any case it is what you like. Now here is the sick part, some people are wired differently they like prepubescent kids. They like when the body isn't fully matured.

R.Kelly was asked " Does he hang out with teenagers?" To which he responded." Define teenagers." Was he really serious? Anything ending in teen is a teenager. He is so far from reality, but i am confident that he hangs out with teens all the time in that case. Let's hope from now on he keeps it at the legal consenting age of 18. I don't care how fast a 14 year old is she has no business doing an old man.And Vice Versa.

So My verdict is this. Those who are genius, also have been known to be a little different than most. Some are eccentric like Einstein, some are pedophiles like R. Kelly and MJ.

We will discuss MJ later... If you disagree with me call my bluff. Say what you believe.