Loving you is like a battle...

And we both end up with scars...


Vixen told me that Thing 1 and I should just get it in and get it over with. Trust me, I have thought about it... O have I thought about it, but the truth of the matter sometimes after sex I feel some type of way. I don't want a repeat situation of Number 1. I knew better than to even go down that road...

The last couple of days have been really difficult for me... I feel like a kid with ADHD, my attention is not fixed on any one thing. I want to focus on things, but there is so much stuff going on that I can't just focus on one thing at a time. So here is the thing, Number 2 is going to get his own little story so I will reserve that for later. I don’t really know what the situation with that is, and I am not ready to deal with it right now, as immature as that sounds I am not ready.

Thing 1 is well, I want him in my life, but at the same time, I don’t. He is the type of guy you are intrigued by and want to know more about. At the same time he puts you at arm’s length, and doesn’t want you to get too close. I don’t know how to deal with him, so I just don’t. I like/liked him as much as I hate to admit it, it’s true. I sometimes revert to my inner female and read too deeply into situations. True enough we had an insane evening a few weeks back, but that is where it ends. That’s all that is ever going to be, because I look at his statuses on facebook ( lol… I’m not stalking, they pop up in the mini-feed) and he is always referring to “Her”… Who the Eff is she? Because He says things that can not possibly be in reference to me(or are they?), so I’m thinking in my mind “ He a hoe ass nigga”… cuz if this chick is oh so important, why are you getting with me? And not on some light weight stuff, I’m talking about crazy sexual energy. More so, than I have ever experienced in my 21 years…I mean last weekend we were supposed to get together, but… I still have that thing about being a jump off, and I’m not trying to become a smut, and I kinda was all over Louisiana earlier in the evening. ( Story later)
So I wanted to be in a relationship, and now I don’t know what I want. I don’t want to be caught up, and I don’t want to be out of the loop.

I wish things were a little less complex, than what they currently are!

Louisiana!!!!

I love southern boys!!! Yes, I can do the North, but the south is where it is at. Now most of y'all will want that ATL boy, yeah they fly and swag is on point, but when it comes down to it..... I love boys from Louisiana!!!They are the effin' best. Texas is cool too, but Louisiana... It's something about how laid back they are, but fly at teh same time. A Louisiana boy can say " Shawty, What's your name?" and you aren't even offended, you just laugh and say " My name is ___________"! *giggle *giggle *smirk *smirk. Anyway, so there is this guy who I so happened to have met, he's a Pisces just like myself, so I'm thinkin' this could be an interesting encounter.If this encounter ever goes down. I'm going to see him tomorrow, and everything from here on out is about to be how everything is for me... straight up. Wild!!!!

HollabackGirl

Again I went out of town this past weekend, I ate more than i needed to and enjoyed life for awhile, before i got into the thick of finals and other stressful events.
Anyway, I hadn't talked to thing 1 in a few days(besides a status I had posted on my facebook) Anyway I had gotten a little bored so i decided to text him... A few minutes go by and I recieve a text back.

Thing 1: Don't wanna talk right now.

I proceeded to show my cousins because I was thoroughly offended, I tend to take things personal. They were like " Whoa, where did that come from" and as we are discussing the situation, minus some small details, you know like the fact we have crazy sexual chemistry. Anywho in the midst of this he sends another text.

Thing 1: Nothing against you.

So this makes me feel better, I just replied " Gotcha, it's cool." No need to get all into the dude's business or do the whole pity thing. I don't do that A. Because each guy is different, and B. A lot of people don't like you to feel bad for them. So I did what one of my teachers told me. K.I.S.S Keep It Simple Sweetheart. I basically said I understand and I took no offense without being wordy with it.I didn't say " Hope you ok." Or any other corny statement, because I don't think we are at that level where we really care about each other's well being. I think he knows that even though I act a particular way, I really am sensitive. I just appreciated the thought, and that's progress. I am still doing what I do,I still have a few guys on deck. There is this guy Lousiana, that I have to talk about next!

Until then...