They are interesting!

So What happened today... Like I said I need to start giving people names, because this initial stuff is no longer working.I have people who all have like the same initials.. So I will simply say

******* DISCLAIMER!!!!************

All names have been changed to protect the innocent( well actually the gulity) ! Anyway I see this guy who is in my lab and i wanted to make sure we had nothing to turn in... I didn't go anyway. He was all on some " Let Me get your number so i know what edition of the book to get...." I'm like whatever my number is (678) 999-8212 not thinking anything of it... After that's exchanged he starts talking to *Number 2 and then he and Number 2 both look at me. As if I don't know what they are talking about. *Yeah,it was note worthy i guess. Smh...I think I need to further detail about that event at a later date...(plus i got a meeting with my professor!!!)

... We getting to know each other!

I will get around to writing part 3... but in the mean time. I want to write about something other... ( I promise i will link everything!) Anyways. Life is interesting. I feel kinda paranoid about somthing, but I will discuss that later. Right now, I am currently trying to come up with a definition of what talking is in my mind. I mean, this guy I was having a converation was like talking is getting ready to get in a relationship and to me that is " Reaching"... i mean just because me and you are talking does not mean in any way that we are exclusive.

Why should we be forced into a false title? I define talking to someone as getting to know them. Essentially, I am talking to a few at the moment, and exclusive with none, doing what? Talking and nothing more. I wish someone would touch me. I am what they have called in the past an " ICE PRINCESS" I don't need to " experience" every man on earth to feel complete. That just isn't me, and I don't buy that garbage that every guy does something different... Yeah messing around with every guy will get you a trip to the clinic. Thanks, but Hell to the NO!!!!!!!

So yeah talking to me is getting to know people, none of this relationship business. That is why it is called a relationship, it is self explanatory, it is cut and dry. There is no guess work, but I admit that talking is very complex... but all you hoes stop reaching!

Part deux

Let me say that you must read the previous entry ( here) in order to follow what I am talking about.

Anyway one day( 2006) I'm chilling in my room before work and life is just chill, I'm happy and I'm cool. I'm doing me, my friend " B" is coming to get me and things are peachy. Let me say that in order to get to my house " B" must pass " T's " house. I paid it no mind.

She gets to my house we at the crib just chillin, and what not. Talking about dude's as usual. I'm plotting to talk to "J" cuz "D" was getting too serious saying he loved me and ish.( You don't love me, you love the thought of getting it in*smh)Not to mention my father was on some other ish, becasue "D" wasn't black. Basically he made me sit down and watch Jungle Fever. LLs Very enlightening. I managed to get the point and laugh (at Gator) So it was win win.

Any way I'm plotting to talk to " J" and low and behold he has a brother... named "C"... "C" is the bomb, I mean he got a 2006 Mustang Convertible all black with red interior( I think, if memory serves) Anyways "B" decides she is gonna get with him and take him to prom.

************* MIND YOU THIS IS ALL BEFORE PROM*********************

As if he could read our minds. " T" begins to chirp "B", but she isn't responding. So I'm like this dude is bugging! Defintion of Bug-A-Boo anyways I'm all annoyed and so is she. So i tell him some stuff like she left my phone at my house and he isn't buying it. He proceeds to tell me they are engaged. * Drops JAWWWWWWW.......... UHM really now player? Me and her are seniors and he graduated the year before, but engaged and underage much? Not to mention there was no ring. Yeah I know you don't have to have a ring, but if a dude really expects to be taken seriously he should have a ring.

So this chick is engaged and planing to take another dude to prom! Wild right? The wild part is we all do end up going to prom together. "J" me and "D"... "T" and "B" and some other people. I'm going to give everyone names, cuz this initial ish is getting really complex and pretty soon there are gonna be a lot of initals that are the same. So stay tuned... for part tres!

O But He is cool....

I have learned to not be friends with boyfriends and girlfriends. I got caught in the middle of Bobby and Whitney meets Chris and Rihanna for lunch type of situation. "T" was the guy and he was cool, I really liked him as a friend. I love the male perspective more so than the female perspective. Females are very unforgiving, dudes let me get away with a lot! So me and him are really cool and whatever. He has a girlfriend named " B" now me and "B" are cool, she is very distrustful of females. With reason though, not like some paranoid chick. I was like okay cool, we are all friends here.

Well I guess " T" had other plans. Because I found myself in the most dramatic of places on earth. I tried to be friends with both of them, offering them advice when one came to me. Providing each with an alibi every time they were off cheating on each other."T" figured that out and got really upset with me for not telling him "B" was getting it in with another guy. I simply said it wasn't my place to get in between them and he was mad (drunkenly cussing me out.) Fast Forward to after Prom. My ex "D" is suspicious I am talking to this guy " J" in his class. I was talking to " J" but that's not the point. The point is "B" goes and tell "D" I was tryna get with "J"... She was supposed to be my girl. Seems "T" told her i tried to eff him at prom. As if I really need to try to eff anyone... Dumb broads. Why does "T" tell her this? Cuz i was a bad friend to him.

I wish i could make this BS up, but that's part 1 of the series. This only gets deeper, the story only twisted, relationships get broken, trust gets lost, I lose my mind and yeah. lol Stay tuned!

Confessions...

I have a confession to make...
I like drama... Big or small. Short or tall. Come one. Come all. It's drama time y'all. So I was at work one day, talking to the manager. Goofin' he is no more than like 3 years older than me so we can talk about life and have similar experiences and can give perspectives. I look up and low and behold here comes my ex( a former employee) Let me explain to you me and him started officially talking on my 18th birthday and by time i had turned 19 I was over the dramatic ass situation. My ex "D" is not black. He is actually Half White and Asian. I liked him cause he was different, well not really. He was just the token wannabe black guy. Anyways things were cool when we initially started talking then my father found out, and made life and seeing D difficult. Anyway the reason why it ended was because I was in school met a new guy ( who played a bigger role in my life than i expected) Not to mention he thought i was cheating on him....( Yeah will blog that too).

Anyway back to the story. He sees me and I see him, coulda sworn water was under the bridge after all this time and finally becoming civil. This dude wants to act salty and shake his head when he sees me... Let's not bring up the fact that before me this dude did not know what a polo was and almost dropped outta high school( which he eventually did) But the blasphemy of this clown shaking his head when he sees me. I laughed at him, like always because this clown is a joke. I should tell you about his underage girlfriend saying I'm jealous of her... lol... o yes I'm so jealous that i don't have a boyfriend who is 21 years old, living at home with his parents, with no diploma, who is working in fast food. He sounds like the man of my dreams. Get the eff out.( Will blog about that too.)

I don't feel bad though, because he acts like this towards all his exes. He feels some type of way because he said all that ish that gets normal girls all vulnerable and open. Me? not phased. He definitely tried and failed miserably...plus i heard he was a jack rabbit if you catch my drift, glad i didn't waste my time!

Wreckless...

Okay,is it just me or as females are we collectively loosing our damn minds?

Once upon a time I was a home wrecker and proud of it lol. ( Will write that blog at a later date.) Well I never " consumated" that so it wasn't really home wrecking it was more so emotional than physical. Lol... after that( again you will have to read that blog when it goes up) I told myself I was never going to aid a black man in disrespecting another black woman...Well i was 18 then and clearly am 21 now. I had to make some decisions then and think some things out then for future references. Here is what i came up with.

A. You are not special. You are not the entree', at the end of the day... who is he with? Not you!Don't try that bs.
B. You may think that because he is leaving her to be with you, that you are special. Well you may be special, but doesn't he leave his girl to chill with his boys? Yep.
C. You try to tell yourself that he is gonna leave her for you, cuz you are the Sugar Honey Iced Tea. Can I slap the hell outta you? If he was gonna leave her, he woulda been done left right? Smarten up!
D. Here's my fave. Why do you want him? If he is cheating on her with you,won't he cheat on you with someone else? Listen to Ginuwine's song " What's so different"... and really ask yourself, What is so different?
E. Silly chicks are so eager talking about I'll take your man, if he'll stray over some easy jump, then I don't want him.

So this is the reason, I chose to keep guys as friends, and not pursue relations or relationships with them. Life is less complex that way. As long as you can decipher what is going on for what it really is then you good. It's when you think you can change the playa, when your game get's busted.

My First...

My First Boyfriend (official) was when i was 16. Yeah, cute right? Lol, for some reason I wanna say i was a junior and he was a sophomore...smmh... don't remember. But this scenario sounds typical of me right? Anyways he is all like " You wanna be my girlfriend?" And i was like sure why not. Let me first explain to you that it was destined to fail. One thing that I have come to learn about myself is that i love Instant Gratification. I was spoiled as a child, and i usually got what i wanted. For me relationships should (in theory) work just like this.Everything I do is with the quickness... not sex or whatever, but I like to know everything up front... intentions,boundaries, and stuff like that... NOW... but then I just went with the flow of things.

Me and "M" had talked a total of twice on the phone, before we were Bf and Gf...He was cute, and he was kinda cool in his own way. I love dorks! lol he was just that, he was like one of those guys who had collected poke'mon and had " Action Figures" but that was OK. We kinda got to know each other as we dated, and to be honest with you. It was not woking, he liked holding hands, me not so much. My best friend was constantly clowning him and it was just one of those things, I don't remember if i even kissed him( *Sad Face) I just wasn't attracted to him I guess! Lol...anyway. I made the fatal mistake of telling a mutual friend i was gonna break up with him, and that mutual friend let him know, so he broke up with me first... now that isn't even the bad part of the story, o it gets deep!!!

My best friend who was clowning him so terribly was all of the sudden his best friend. She was going over his house, and shit.So I was ma suspect. I figured they were dating after a few weeks. I just waited for her to tell me, not that i was mad or anything, cuz i was not attracted to him. I just don't like my intelligence being insulted. Does anyone? So I'm in 2nd block, chillin' and this dude who rides her bus is telling me that she tellin' everyone I don't know and that everything was all good. ( Like i was dumb) I waited until i got home and decided to call her on it. I simply asked" Is there anything you want to tell me?" This chick got defensive and had the audacity to say " Is there anything you want to know?"---- PAUSE----- Now this is where keeping it real went horribly wrong for her. You know I have mood swings. I was like " You really just gone insult my intelligence like that?" and from that point i just remember my mother coming home and looking at me like I was crazy cuz I was screaming all kinda craziness into the phone. My signature is to just hang up and leave the person messed up.
How can you be someone's best friend and even think of doing some shit like that? Anyway I was like whatever, just didn't conversate or associate with her after that point. We eventually became real cool again and are friends today, but we can never talk about the situation without someone getting heated again. The moral of the story is Make sure you and your friends have opposite taste in guys and be very very well versed in Girl Code ( even though I have been flagrantly violating it lately)

Lil Miss Sunshine

I'm happiest when the sun is shining and everything on the outside looks beautiful. I hate turbulence, I hate dramatics and yet i perpetuate it. I guess in a way dramatics is attention and i love me some attention. That is just the way it is... most of the time I'm just a regular girl,who doesn't love attention. It is pretty safe too, i am at no risk at getting pregnant or having an STD because of drama... just Heart break and head aches... but those are tolerable because they are not forever!!!

This being said I think it's the perfect time for lil miss Sunshine... to come back out. Loves it!!!

He got swag!

Swag... How i love it, I mean that's not all that comes into play when selecting a guy. I mean swag, or lack there of swag says a lot. I love it, swag is not just what a guy is wearing it is like his "Je ne sais quois" (translation: i don't know what) like it's the way he talks, the way way he walks, his intellect. I love it, I am attracted to guys who are confident,and smart. Yeah you will never catch me in the trap tryna pull a hood figure. No, that's just not me. Although, I could. I choose to talk to a dude who is legit(as we all should).
Females fall into this trap of thinking they need a thug or an Ain't Sh*t Nigga, that's all well and good when you 18 cause we all go through that phase. As a college student, I am studying to get my degree and I want a guy achieving the same goals as me. I don't know nothing about no all white bricks, so I won't pretend to be hood, I ain't NUNU lol.

Anyway swag is great, and It would be awesome if everyone had it, but they don't and if you have the swag of a young man who is about something in life, then YOU GO BOY!!!

She like the group, call her a groupie.

So this dude is really entertaining me. Not because he is gassing my head up, but because i thought that once you reached a certain age you were, well, I don't know mature. Any who this guy basically interpreted my compliment as me flirting, and I prolly was, but anyways he thinks i like him. Proceeds to tell people( mind you we are 21 now)that i like him. Then this dumb broad who tried to destroy my life is like, you know she likes your friend too(Thing2)... wait pause... since when does inquiring what a dude is about misconstrued as me liking him? So okay fast forward, he starts acting funny, convo is dumb, and I'm like whatever.I keeps it moving boo.

Then this chick i know comes up to me tellin' me about how i was tryna get down with him and his boy. I'm thinking" What the F*ck?" lol... Does this even sound logical to you? Yeah me either. So I laugh it off and start distancing myself, only a fool addresses rumors. One day one of my home boys(number 2) wants to have a conversation and i am like whatever, why not? We proceed to leave the setting we were in and go to a place where we can have the convo, so we get up to leave. My girl sends me this text message talking about " Be careful *Thing 1 and Thing 2 are following you." I turn around and sure enough these dudes done seen me leave with Number 2 and are following us. I laugh cause it is funny and proceed to have my conversation. Yeah uhm we are 21 & following people? I didn't know I was of concern?

* I wish this were the end of the story, but all i can say is "developing" cuz there is so much to tell. I think I'm going to call this "the groupie series"!

I ain't even tripping

hmmm kids... What should Nikki tell you today?? Uhm... Idk. So here is the thing. I realized that drama is something that though I don't want it, will inevitably follow me,Where ever I go as long as I am still me and the sun still rises in the east then there is gonna be drama. I don't have a problem with that. What i do have a problem with is salty assed people.

I chose to live my life low sodium, substituting the salt for ... sugar. Sugar is so much sweeter. I don't particularly care for feeling some type of way. I just don't have the time or the energy. As Diddy said it best " Emotions will have you kicking yourself in the ass". And sorry, but i ain't got time for bruises. 2009 the year of triflin' get your money and your game right!

Number 2 has a lot to prove... hmmmm

So where to begin... Ahhh I think I'll start here...

So there was this guy who I met my sophomore year, he was a freshman and it was no big deal, because he seemed like a cool kid and there was no attraction whatsoever.( On my part) So fast forward to Sept. 2008 he's still him, I'm still me. Except one day we actually have this conversation about my past . He is intrigued and reveals to me that he had written in my honesty box over the summer. So I'm like, ok and what did you say?... hmmm...ughh...that's okay I'll wait. He expects me to guess. I'm not one for guessing games. I was like whatever, I don't care. ( Even though i really wanted to know.) Then this dude is like **** TRUE STORY**** " I had like a crush on you". I thought that was cute, cause at the time I was dealing with the infamous dude from last semester.Any who, he was trying to get it in. I wasn't, cause I mean why? Just cause a dude likes you or says he does, don't mean for you to get all loose booty Judy on everyone. So at this point i was like, so what is it that you like about me. Some stuff about, I'm not smutting ...blah-se-blah. I'm thinkin' whatever.(It's just my mentality in general when it comes to guys)

He however is very persistent and I'm resistant. Plus I know there is something he is trying to keep on the low. I don't know ,maybe like the fact that he has a boo.( Did I say that?) Anyway makes me no difference, because I don't plan on ever sealing the deal. I go ahead and engage in mindless banter of the "what could be's and what ain't gone be's " we agree that we are going to be cool no matter what happens. (*lies, all lies!)

Months go by, and the answer still remained a resounding no.

We now are in 2009... Blame it on the Alcohol... Jamie Foxx just gave everyone a perfect excuse. Any way, things have changed drastically.Honestly I'm not gonna say that he is the only one acting dumb,I was too. I realized I was being rude, so i stopped being rude.It is what it is, and it's life. No need being sad and blue. I knew the situation and so did you.

***
Update: So many wondered what went down in the first place... Here's part 1

Those boys up top...

Let me say first an fore I was born in New York, and lived there until the age of 5... Moved to the South(Louisiana) and lived there til i was 17 1/2 to which I moved to VA and have been here since. I have grown to love Boys raised in the south they have a way about them that is so laid back. The boys up top are so eager to try an play someone. So today with my girl she stops and talks to this group of guys I don't particularly care for. One speaks to her, then speaks to me, blah-se-blah he is not amusing me. I jump to the next in the middle of his sentence, he be doing annoying ish. I'm not keri hilson, but that's a turn off and then some. They proceed to laugh and what not, whatever salt. I don't like boys from up top... for a reason lol. Naw I just think that it was funny he gone try to play me after putting himself out there. My life.. Next!

Bust it wide open...

LOL... I realized that last semester i really did put things on blast via this website. I fully intend on continuing to put a lot out there. People are hilarious to me! Especially guys, I guess many feel salty, and some feel slighted, and i really genuinely could care less.Lol. So Buckle your seat belts I'm about to say some scandalous things.

Computer Love!!!

Okay, so I am one of those people who is like uhm, talking to some random on the internet as a means of a relationship is so weird. Lol, I know not everyone can be met and be right infront of your face. I think that you can find a meaningful relationship on the internet. I just don't think that it is for me. I tried it before and I am not gonna lie I really liked the kid.

It was The summer before college, I was working ridiculous hours and I didn't have much time with my friends, but i did have time to get on Tagged.com. Tagged was the business for me, before myspace, and my addiction to facebook. I met this guy and he was really cool, the thing is we were in two different states. So We continued talking for hours each night via yahoo messenger. He went to School in New York and I went to school in VA, so with college came a little bit of a distance. Then I started meeting real guys lol. That was that.

One day I went to delete some of my old accounts and saw all the messages and saw how close we had really gotten. If we were infront of each other I think it would have prolly been a match lol. I messaged him on facebook, and was like Hey, long time no speak( we are juniors now) and he didn't respond. I was like whatever it was no biggie. Then He wrote on my wall on my Birthday talking about " Hey, Happy Birthday, it's been awhile". I was like wow, it's been so long...I haven't messaged him back yet, but i was wondering what would have been? lol.

So if you find love or something a lot like it, it should not matter if it is online, on campus, or off. Do you. Don't worry about what others say, unless the person you chating with is a serial killer( Be careful, not desperate) lol

Maybe?

Things are finally getting back to normalcy. No more having to double check and see just what lies have been spread from day to day. I find it all to have been pretty entertaining,comical, and pathetic. Anytime you have to sabotage others to feel better about you, just let's all know you are a sad little person. I could go off and act a fool, but the reality of the situation is I don't have to. Those who try to cast a negative light on me, only see that they make themselves look bad. I don't have to talk about people or spread lies to feel good about me. That's all I'm sayin'. I don't get females, never have and never will, that's why i go hard with guys there is none of the catty BS.

As i said life is good.Be blessed!

There is one in every group...

The cock block is a miserable little soul who loves to make your life that much more complex. There is a cock block in every group and while, i knew this before. There needs to be some type of chant to wish them away... You know like how Dora says " Swiper no swiping?" Why can't the chant be like " Blocker no blocking" ? lol. The blocker is only happy when they successfully make sure your chances with whomever are significantly diminished. Why can't they channel all that energy into finding someone for themselves? ( Can you guess I am dealing with a blocker? lol) Anyway until i come up with the cure to blockerism, I will keep you posted lol.

Triflin 21

I am sorry... I'm reverting back to writing about me. O well... I'm pretty entertaining half the time. So anyways, I am looking at 21... and I haven't been 21 for quite a month just yet, and already some interesting events have transpired. I was sitting in class the other day and this girl was like " You know what? 2009 is just gonna be a triflin' year." We all laughed it off, but it is really starting off that way and I kinda like it.

Friends Though and Through!

Sometimes it happens this way:
You meet someone and you are just cool.
You don't really like them " like that".
So you don't act on anything, and you just act like normal.
Now here is where you can deviate from the path.
You can:
A. Keep things platonic
or
B. Complicate things via relationship or relations (there is a difference)

Most of us, are the types who believe that friendships can go un-changed because ( we have been there before and we know what to do, and what not to do this time around)

Honestly there is no way to really be the same after you have crossed certain lines in the sand, if you feel the need to cross this line fully assess the damages you might cause.

So here are some healthy tips to keep the lines of communication open.

1.) Be nice. ( otherwise you look salty and bitter)
2.) Fix your face. ( No salty looks,mean mugging, etc)
3.) Smile and say a few friendly words.( You don't have to have a full conversation, keeps it movin' boo)
4.) Don't try to attach yourself, or make yourself "too available". That sets up another situation which i like to call " Swimfan" ( will blog about that later.)
5.) Just be cool, and continue to do the things you did before you were in the relationship/having relations. some find this difficult and would rather drop the person all together.

Dropping the person all together introduces a completely different blog lol. But if they are not being the person they were before and just asking plain dumb, why even put yourself through it... Next. It's not worth the energy!

I've been slacking..

It's spring semester! What can i say? I turned 21... I am meeting new people... I think I want to temporarily go back to the " Dashboard confessional" type of blog. After all i do know a lot about myself,even if i don't really know myself!I know about me!Blogs on Deck

" Maybe?"
" Friends through and through"
" They just don't know"
" Totally 21 or Triflin 21?"

The hopeless Romantic(simp) in me!

Dear 21st B-day...
This Birthday must overshadow last years. I am so much different in the space of a year. I have gained so much experiences and learned a lot of new lessons. I have learned my inner strengths as well as my weaknesses. My weaknesses are not really weaknesses, but they cause me trouble sometimes. I sometimes don't understand myself or my feelings and 21st we are gonna try to understand, and if we don't eff it we got some more living to do! I want to just say that I have been being a good girl! No kids, no Maury baby father shows(I watch them, a lot though) lol. I love being me and I just want to be me a little longer so i can learn the true meaning of love. I want to learn what it takes to make a relationship work. I want to meet the guy, that changes the game for me! ( 4 more years, by 25 please). I don't want to be old, unmarried, and in decline. I want to continue to live and grow. I guess that's all 21st, please put me first! ♥ Alex DeVonce'

Goodbye February!

It is now march!!! 10 days until My Bday specifically!! So I am excited!!! February, I neglecteds to pay any type of homage to it being Black History month, and I feel slightly bad! So Thank you to all the Civil Rights Leaders and all the people who suffered in order for me to be able to sit here and be able to be a college Student at an HBCU. With the tools i have been given, I need to do better, i have no choice but to! I encourage all my peers to continue to strive to be the leaders of tomorrow that we are being prepared to be!

...I am not your average chick!

I constantly ask myself, why do you act like a guy? Why can’t you just catch feelings like a normal chick? In my opinion there are three types of people in relationships, the played, the players, and those who try to play but get caught. I am a player after all relationships are just a game really. And what is game? It’s strategy! Everything in life is about strategy; if you don’t have the right strategy then you will lose and be a simp. Being sprung… well that happens to us all. Please never say never, because the day you say never is the day that karma determines you are about to be her new bussit baby! Lol. I have been influenced by real life. True story many people don’t know what they want and when you don’t set clear boundaries, problems ensue. You can say you aren’t mad when things fall short of your expectations, but the reality of the situation we all become disenchanted, because in the back of our minds we all know (male or female) we wondered what could be! So in reality, it is more beneficial to be guy minded. I rarely catch feelings, I think if I were really a guy people would say that I am an asshole. Cuz I’ve been told that I am an asshole for the way that I treat guys. So in fact, are they calling themselves assholes because that’s the way they treat girls? hmmmm I tried to remedy that in the past, but I don’t see the point when I tried acting like a girl, it just didn’t feel right o yeah and I was acting real simp. “Say that I’m simpin, sprung, all of the above.”- Neyo